Validation is one of the most powerful feelings in todays narcissistic society. It is increased by technology and social media – and the desire to receive likes has exposed many people to a variety of situations – in many cases putting their own lives and lives of others in risk in order to be validated by social media – in most case by people they don’t know.
Bring that dynamics closer, such as family and friends, and this search for validation can become even more powerful. It can happen under some disguises, and sometimes can generate a negative cycle of seeking validation. In some cases, can be highly negative, creating a sense of codependency to receive approval from others.
Codependency definition By merrister:
broadly : dependence on the needs of or control by another
It is very important to recognize your own value, without the need to receive appraisal or approval from another. It is healthy that desire to tell your friends, siblings or parents about your victories, but it can also be detrimental, as one that is dependent on validation from another can fall in a feeling of entitlement, which in turn can become resentment once that validation is not received.
As I get older, I have learned the importance to be complete and fulfilled by my own value, my own victories and successes.
They all hate you Mando, you are a legend
– Greef Karga
It is certainly subtle, and incredibly hard for people that have been dependent for a long time stopping going for approval from others. But once you start noticing and practicing being content with your own self, you will also notice that what others say – both positive and negative comments – will have less effect on you. This generates a feeling of personal power and clarity, and the limitations of another will have less effect on how you see the world.
People generally are more preoccupied with themselves than anyone else, so don’t be surprised if people don’t validate you – and in many cases sabotage your victories – in order to make them feel better about themselves.
Be complete, know your value, do not seek validation or approval from others, and you notice less desire to talk more than necessary, and respond to negative comments about your deeds and successes, and mostly important, your own energy will be preserved to invest on your own projects and well being.
Be aware and stop seeking validation from anyone. You should already know you are special, and have a unique calling and talent that can change the world! (If you got my point, no need for me to validate that for you ;))
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